Sunday, November 14, 2004


If anyone watched the American Music Awards, I have two questions to ask … did Ms Nicole-Smith perhaps take just a tad too many Trim Spas, or do we all need a bit of what ever it was she was smoking? My gawd people, the woman was flyyyyy-ing, thin and raving.

My second question … during ‘I wanna hold your ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-and’, did anyone else notice the 4 guys on the balcony above and behind the band? The one dude was just the most amazing dancer I have seen in a long time. I am not sure if they were professionals, or perhaps regulars on the show much like the Bandstand Dancers, but that man could boogie!

Looking back at the Beatles and taking in that it was 40 years ago is trippy. Although I was only 4, I remember the sound of the Beatles blaring from my late brother’s room, he was 14 years old than me. I don’t know if it is because I have slowed down considerably in how long it takes me to get from point A to point B, but the speed at which life moves is astonishing. In spite of this, we all seem to get through huge amounts of stuff on a daily basis, and the more blogs I read, the more I see how inter woven our lives really are. I am still trying to work out if there is a difference between the concept behind reality tv and reading blogs. It is all about looking in on people and being fascinated at how they do the same things we are all doing on a daily basis. Without sounding like a cynic, which I really am not, it is kind of like the same shit, just with different decorations. We’re all out there wanting to be heard, seen, loved and acknowledged.

So, in the hope that you don’t find it resembling shit in any way, unless of course it’s good shit, I am happy to review the week that was on the eve of another week about to unfold.

I think the most fascinating thing for me to observe this week, was my almost 20 year old daughter starting her first part time job. This has not come a moment too soon for her. Alex is not scared of hard work, this I know. It has been extremely frustrating for her not being able to work. She waited three long years to receive a work permit and then a couple more weeks until her Social Security number arrived in the mail. Pre holiday season is a great time to look for work so within a couple of days, she had a job at the Hallmark store at the local mall. Daniel and I were really excited for her and we waited with eager anticipation to hear about it. The first day on the job … came and went. The second day on the job … came and went, and with the third shift now behind us, we realize that all the information we will get is what time we have to give her a ride to the next and all remaining shifts until she gets her driver’s license within the next couple of weeks. So, for what it’s worth Alex, if you are reading this, we hope you are enjoying your new job and that your first steps toward further independence have been exciting ones to take!

I myself have been immersed in paperwork and the chore of personal admin. Having been out of action for a couple of weeks, the empire that is my family has required some overtime in keeping it all ticking over. The behind the scenes stuff, you know, paying the bills, dodging the late fees, trying really hard to be nice to the computers I am forced to talk to on the phone. Damn but it pisses me off when I get pissed off with a computer! I honestly believe the average person would be astounded at the time I willingly spend at my desk slaving away in my self appointed admin. department. Last year, my astrologer explained it to me like this:

“Your south node is in the sign of Pisces. In the past you have spent many lifetimes in service and solitude. You were idealistic and inspired. You sacrificed much for others. You could have been a monk or a nun, an inspired artist, a shaman or a mystic … or all of the above! You north node points to the energy that needs to be developed in this lifetime. That is, practical matters, the essentials, the details of life. Not easy for a daydreamer! In the past you achieved enlightenment … communed with the Source, detached from the material world. In this lifetime, you are here to recognize and care for your own needs. You’ve mastered self-sacrifice … now you need to master self-respect. Your path to greatest fulfillment can be recognized simply by organizing a sock drawer or balancing a checkbook! In this lifetime, every time you create order out of chaos, you will be rewarded with a grand sense of satisfaction”
(and I believe therein lies my self respect - in achievement and completion!).

What I would like someone to explain to me is the ridiculous reaction I have when Daniel unfortunately hurts himself physically. While walking down the hall earlier this week, I heard the most dreadful noise followed by a THUD coming from what I thought was the kitchen. I shouted, “What was that?” and there was a moment’s silence before Daniel groaned, “I’ve fallen down the stairs”. “You’ve what?” I yelled as I did a u-turn and headed back down the hall. I stood at the top of the stairs and saw Daniel lying on his back on the landing. In those moments I want to be able to leap down the stairs but have to sit on the chair lift and go down at what feels like a snail’s pace. By the time I got there, he was sitting up and moved on to the chair belonging to the other lift on the second flight of stairs. We have a bi-level so needed two chair lifts. So there we sat, the pair of us, Daniel understandably writhing in pain because his big toe had got caught under the mechanism of the chair lift. Fortunately nothing was broken and no skin was torn even, but this was a serious fall. This is the part where I get scary. As I sat there, I had to concentrate so hard on sucking my cheeks in so as not to laugh. At this exact point, Daniel looked up and straight at me, and because he knows me so darn well, he warned me that I had better not start laughing quite at this point in time. Well, that was all he had to say ~ there was just no stopping me. What makes matters worse; Daniel finds it difficult to walk in a straight line without stubbing his toe, banging his elbow, and his head, well that gets banged on a very regular basis. Need I say, I do a lot of stifled laughing! I feel the need to make this big of a public apology to my dearly beloved husband. This wonderful person who at the first peep from his beeper, dashes out of the house to go assist and or rescue strangers from our community who dial 911. This wonderful man, training and studying to become a certified firefighter so as to continue his voluntary dedication to our borough’s fire department deserves a wife who would at least apply a band aid before bursting into laughter that could continue for hours after the event. Daniel, I love you and I am so happy you did not seriously injure yourself. I promise to try not laugh the next time I hear you say “Fffff……” (We have a 7 year old in the house, remember), I promise to make a concerted effort not to approach you with a smile on my face!

The wonderful 7 year old played the last soccer game of the season, and I have to say, this was a nail biting game. This team of boys and girls has been unbeatable and has only lost two of their games. It was like every skill the coach had ever taught them showed up in this final game. It was really cold so I sat and watched from my car where I had a great view of the entire field. As I cheered and applauded from the car, I had a moment to myself where I thought, “wow I am now fully a soccer mom”. As un-American as I am, this was a soccer mom experience all the way. This adorable group of players then all went off to the local pizzeria and ended their season with cheers and gifts for the coaches. Like teachers, I think anyone who works with kids deserves the utmost respect and acknowledgement and I am grateful that Ross has this opportunity.
And so my world turns. I am sleeping a minimum of 6 hours a night, I love my family, and I feel stronger and better every day. I have much to be happy about. I truly feel that my care and attention return to me multiplied. While it might all be happening real fast, most of the time, it feels real good.