Friday, January 14, 2005


Just before we left England, we had the good fortune of meeting a South African couple that was visiting mutual friends in London. Gavin and Sandra are from Canada and have been mentioned here before.

When we arrived in the USA we connected and while speaking on the phone one day, I invited them to come stay with us for a week while they participated in a trade show in NYC. Although this was almost like asking a blind date to spend the night, I somehow knew that things would work and it would not feel awkward in spite of the fact that we all really didn’t know each other.

The week passed and when they left, there was a natural knowing they would be back any time they wanted … the sooner the better. At the time they were exhibiting at three shows a year, two in NYC and one in Philadelphia. New Jersey was therefore the obvious place for them to stay.

During the time we spent together and got to know each other, Sandra shared the struggle her and Gavin had gone through over a 7-year period to get pregnant. Anyone who has been through a similar experience will know only too well the emotional roller coaster you have to endure when you are brave enough to embark on the road they chose.

After unsuccessful IVF Treatments, on July 10th, 2003, one of Sandra’s frozen embryos was transferred to their surrogate. A pregnancy test two weeks later showed the attempt had failed.

At the beginning of August 2004, Gavin and Sandra came to stay for a week while working at a show in NYC. One evening Sandra called me into the bathroom and held up a positive pregnancy test. When my brain and mouth managed to function coherently, I uttered the words “oh my God, Sandra … I don’t believe it, you’re pregnant!”

Unfortunately the joy was short lived. A week later, while attending their friends wedding on August 14th, the pregnancy miscarried. Gavin expressed how frustrated he had felt when they were at another function where there happened to be a number of pregnant women. He said how upsetting it was to feel that so many people get pregnant with such ease and certainly no struggle involved in their process. I really felt for him and could relate to those feelings of frustration as I had been through a similar experience in the years leading up to my own pregnancy having been told I would not be able to get pregnant.

Following Sandra’s miscarriage, they headed off to Mexico for a vacation. They were in need of rest, relaxation and both physical and emotional healing. On their return, the powers that be finally started smiling down on our deserving friends. Soon after hearing the news of their successful adoption application, they brought their newborn daughter Meira home. The highlight of our summer this year was visiting their beautiful home to celebrate Meira’s baby-naming ceremony.

The miracles continued unfolding and in January 2004, Sandra announced her pregnancy.

In more than just the vibe of being positive, we all had a deep sense of knowing that this pregnancy was an idea whose time had come. On September 2nd 2004, Talia arrived peacefully and safely, completing the now very content Silberman family unit.