Wednesday, March 30, 2005


The Photobloggies results are in. I am so thrilled that Andrea and Jen got the acknowledgement they deserve. I am a huge fan of their blogs ~ they are truly works of art from the heart.
While on the subject of favorite blogs, if you haven't discovered the hilarious brilliance of Danny Evans yet, treat yourself and go read now!

Sunday, March 27, 2005


To all our friends around the world,
we send our love and wishes
that you are enjoying a
Happy and Blessed Easter
with those you love.

Friday, March 25, 2005


On Monday I am turning 45. Here is a list of some of the things I have learnt and thoughts I have ... in no particular order:

  1. There is no such thing as 'trying'. You are either doing something or you are not.
  2. I doubt myself too much.
  3. It is ok to ask for help.
  4. Wherever I go, I will still be there in the morning.
  5. I am always surprised when people tell me they value me.
  6. It is wonderful when you have friends who are like family, and very sad when you aren't friends with your family.
  7. I love surprises.
  8. Ross is the most perfect thing I have ever done.
  9. I under-estimated how hard it would be living away from the people I have a history with.
  10. I eat spaghetti with a knife and fork.
  11. I have lost an unusually high number of family and friends for someone my age - remembering Willie, Greer, Ady, Pam, Bonnie, Gatsby, Terry and Glenda.
  12. I am a loyal friend.
  13. I still love Mick Jagger.
  14. It is almost impossible for me not to make a pig of myself with sushi.
  15. Working for Rabbi Ady Assabi was the second most profound experience in my life.
  16. Acknowledging that my reality is different to the next person's is a very freeing state to be in.
  17. Going on a cruise was the best vacation I have ever had.
  18. Nothing angers me more than people lying to me.
  19. I would love to be obscenely financially rich.
  20. I cried through Wayne Dyer's entire presenation. This was a highlight in my life.
  21. It lifts my spirit when Daniel and Ross are happy.
  22. I often wish I didn't have Muscular Dystrophy.
  23. I can make exceptionally loud farts.
  24. I really have no regrets.
  25. I get very hurt when people I love let me down.
  26. It still surprises me that I love cooking.
  27. I think the ageing process is unfair.
  28. An astrologer once told me that through my writing I could "introduce change of a higher social order".
  29. I often think about what I will do when my dog dies.
  30. I saw "Love Story" 14 times and was let in free, three times.
  31. My favorite part of being pregnant was feeling Ross move inside me.
  32. I don't tell my sister often enough that I love her.
  33. I was a very good tap and modern jazz dancer from the age of 4 to 13.
  34. There are a lot of people who don't know that Daniel is my third husband.
  35. Ok, it's time to come clean ... I love Barry Manilow too.
  36. My strongest belief is that the more ok I get with myself, the more ok you become without having to do anything about it yourself.
  37. I have never tried to make matzo balls.
  38. I miss the privilige of being able to vote.
  39. What I lack in physical strength I make up for in strength of character.
  40. I only ever drove on the M25 in London once during the 7 years I lived there, and have only driven on Rt. 80 twice in three and a half years.
  41. I want to swim with dolphins.
  42. There are no words to adequately express the depth of my love for Daniel.
  43. I still don't know exactly what I want to do when I am big.
  44. If I can be half the woman my mother is, I will be proud of my achievement.
  45. This was the song for the first dance at our wedding. It feels appropriate to list it here:


As sung by Louis Armstrong

(George Weiss / Bob Thiele)

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and coulds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"

They're really sayining "I love you'.

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll ever know

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

Oh yea ...

I stand in my truth!

Friday, March 18, 2005


Many years ago I did a personal actualization course. During the final session of the course, the trainer gave a short blurb on a whole lot of life concepts. In spite of not having any children at the time, I remember what he said about how parents view their children.

He gave the example of a box of matches. He held it up and said, from where we the audience see the box, we see one picture, and from where he views the box, he sees an entirely different picture to ours. Clearly, two very different views of the same box, and no matter where you looked at the box from, it remained the same box of matches.

He went on to ask if any parents in the room had had the experience of arriving to get their kids from school, for example. While sitting in their car, they see their kid playing. The kid is not aware that the parent is watching him or her. Without the awareness of the parent being there, the kid is free to express him/herself without the restriction of what the parent might think, etc., etc. Many parents said they had been through this experience and that they had sat and watched their kid thinking how there are so many aspects to their kids they never see – and what a warm, pleasing and rewarding experience it was to watch their kid freely expressing him or herself and simply being.

I find the contrasts reflected in these two pics really interesting. My stepson, David is 16 years old. He has a natural talent for any sport and has inherited his paternal grandfather’s ability to work with his hands. He has a passion for carpentry and woodwork, and it is amazing what this “kid” can produce from a piece of wood.

Somehow, I wouldn't expect the energy reflected in the wrestling pic to be re-channeled into producing something as intricate - if not delicate in parts - as the workings in this kist; the one he designed and built. ('Kist' is the word used to describe a storage chest in the UK and South Africa.)
I guess one has to be prepared to shift their perspectives and points of view all the time!

The work of a winning sportsman.

The work of a budding artist.


Our vacation was cut short by a few days by virtue of our own choice. It never ceases to amaze me how inadequate the facilities are for disabled people. The first room they showed us was supposedly disabled friendly. There was a roll-in shower, which is really nice. Although I don’t need to be rolled into the shower, I always shower with Daniel as it is much easier for me, and it is great to have the extra space for two. The room however, was clearly for one person, and if you weren’t sitting on the chair at the mirror, and you weren’t on the toilet, then you had to sit on the bed, as there was nowhere else to move. Daniel walked in and instantly and rightly said, there is no way we could spend a week in this size room.

Without any problem and in spite of the fact that the hotel was full, we were moved to a bigger room. No roll-in shower, but much more space. We had been in the new room about ten minutes when I could see that Daniel still wasn’t happy. “This is not what I arranged and this is not what I was expecting”, he said. I suggested to him that he go downstairs and explain this to the manager or someone at the desk, and to ask them if they could give us the suite we thought we had booked. Surely all the time he spends away from home accumulating his platinum member status should offer solutions at a time like this!

Again, within minutes we were moved to a really nice suite. Living room, really cool plasma flat screen humungous TV on the wall, another large TV in the bedroom and a large bathroom. The heavenly bed that this hotel chain prides itself on is just that, heavenly. However … the toilet was so darn low that I needed help both on and off it. When off it, I couldn’t even reach the handle to flush, it was THAT low. I had to climb over the side of the bath to shower. Believe me, this can be especially tricky when climbing out the bath, and the surface of the bath is somewhat soapy and slippery, and I am trying to secure myself on the sink unit and hold on to Daniel with my other hand and raise my leg over the side of the bath and not have the first foot out the bath slide out from under me on the tiled floor while I try make sure the foot still in the bath doesn’t send me into the splits position – and through it all Fireman Dan assuring me that he will not let me fall and me shrieking that if both my feet slide apart in opposite directions, the only thing gonna stop me is the side of the bath and the idea of my nether regions colliding with the bath is not an appealing one. While there is some kind of insane dark comedy in all this, it is quite simply, a pain in the ass.

Once safely out the shower, I can’t even collapse in a heap on the bed for some heavenly rest and relaxation, because it is too high for me to get onto it on my own. So back to having my legs lifted up for me, then I fall backwards as Daniel swings the second leg up. When I lie flat I can’t breathe because of my wonderfully weak diaphragm which basically says “oh you have got to be kidding, you know I can barely move when you lie flat”, so while gasping for air like a fish out of water, I then grab hold of any part of Daniel that I can latch on to so he can heave me back up into the upright sitting position. Once there it is not really comfortable as by now my butt has moved half way down the bed and I need to move backwards so that I can sit up and lean back against the pillows propped up against the headboard. No sooner do I get comfortable, feel like I am breathing ok, then I need to go pee. And so it starts all over again. Needless to say, by 10.30pm on the Tuesday night, I started feeling like I was a beached whale and Daniel was trying to roll me back into the sea.

I realized at this point, that as wonderful as it was to be where we were, my home environment is still the most user friendly for my body. I asked Daniel how he felt about going home the next day and he thought this was a great idea. So much to Ross’ delight, we were there when he got home from school on Wednesday.
As brief as it was, we enjoyed the break from our usual routine for a couple of days.
There is however much truth in the fact that there is no place like home.

Thursday, March 17, 2005


The life of my brother, whom I miss more, the more time passes.

April 25, 1946
Johannesburg, South Africa
March 17, 2003
Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Monday, March 07, 2005


Daniel and I are taking a much needed, wanted and deserved break this week. In a way, it is like having an off-site staff meeting. There are things we need to discuss in a relaxed and uninterrupted environment, we want some quiet time together and deserve a vacation. Our lives move at such a relentless pace and all too often it feels like there are just not enough waking hours in the day to fit everything in.
We decided to pack our bags, load the car and depart for an undisclosed destination. We can both be reached on our cell phones and more than that, nobody needed to know. It was interesting to see how the oldest of our three children, the one who hates disclosing any information about the details of where she goes and what she does, was the most uncomfortable with our destination being withheld. Our middle child will probably not even notice we aren’t there. The refrigerator is stocked, he has money for the week and generally does his own thing all the time anyway. Parents ~ what parents? ~ Oh, those parents, nope, they aren’t here! The youngest of our three children spent the entire day declaring undying love for us on the phone, via emails and on Yahoo Chat. He informed me that he started missing me "the minute his toe got into the car to go to school in the morning". I know he is in good and safe hands with Marti and I am grateful for the luxury of being able to step out of my life for a couple of days.
We spent a wonderful day eating loads of scrumptious food. HORSERADISH ENCRUSTED SALMON ON CONFETTI RICE, MIXED SEAFOOD SKEWERS, SHRIMP COCKTAIL and ROASTED GARLIC DUSTED RACK OF LAMB … and it’s only 11.30pm! We watched SIDEWAYS and I am now pleased that it won 2 Golden Globes. It’s the kind of movie that feels like a little movie to me, but a great little one. It is the kind of movie that I wish had won all the Oscars it was nominated for. I found it to be a real treat. There are lots of movies that we have wanted to see available on the On Demand channel so I am sure some late nights are inevitable.
In less than 24 hours, I am reminded so clearly of exactly why I chose this man to spend the rest of my life with. I know a great week ahead awaits me.