Monday, October 17, 2005


Marti and Glenn have been planning their wedding since they returned from their summer vacation in Slovakia. Marti went home to visit with her parents, family and friends for three weeks. Glenn joined her for the last ten days and they returned to the USA engaged to be married.

When Marti and I went with Justine and Alyson to choose a bridal gown, we were surprised by how shocked the attendants were that we had the audacity to be in the store planning a wedding a few weeks away, rather than a year in advance. Giving them little but no choice other than to get over themselves, we went ahead and started the selection process. When you look like Marti does, you can take any rag, put it on and look stunning. By the end of the evening, in spite of the Tiara in my hair, I was feeling distinctly overweight and traumatized about what I would wear to this event. In a relatively painless process, Marti went back to the dress of her original choice, having tried several other gowns on. In spite of the numerous weddings of my own that I have been through, I still am not sure I fully understand what it is about a wedding day that turns even the most un-Barbie-ish women into obsessive princesses. From the moment the dress was chosen, life turned into a process of the most serious commitment to perfection that I have seen in a long time. Unless Marti has a secret stash somewhere that I really don’t know about, she has proven to me that projects can be achieved without lists and the incessant use of highlighters.

In addition to having to bring a huge amount of details together in a really short space of time, the bridal couple had to endure the stress of Marti’s parents applying for visas to visit the USA and then on getting them, being allowed entry into the country. This success of this largely depends on the mood of the immigration official that greets you at the airport. On the day they arrived, the one single question the immigration officer asked her parents was whether the man their daughter is marrying is a nice guy. Imagine the relief when they said “yes” and the official was sufficiently satisfied to grant them entry into the USA. From the moment they arrived, it felt like all details had been covered and we were now well on the road to a perfect celebration.

Preceding the parents’ arrival by three hours, the rain started. It continued through the weekend and was still here on Monday. By the day before the wedding, possibly because it had rained continuously through the week, the rain was now coming through the roof of where the reception was being held, and landing on the dance floor. The manager of the venue assured Marti that it would be repaired by the time the wedding guests would start arriving the next day.

If we all felt like ducks as we waded our way into the church, we were soon followed by a swan that graced us with her beautiful presence. I really can’t adequately describe my feelings as I watched Marti, in all her splendor, stand and take her vows with Glenn. All I can say is that I was overcome with emotion. From deep inside my soul my emotions came to the surface and there was nothing I could do to stop the tears, so I let them flow. I have always known that my relationship with Marti is karmic, and while this story is not about me, but about her and Glenn, I got a deep sense of completion as I watched them become husband and wife. I felt very much like my mission had been accomplished and it was now time to sit back and watch the rest of the story unfold. There is no doubt in my mind and heart that the road to this destination started in London, the day I first interviewed Marti as a potential Au Pair six years ago.

The wedding ceremony was followed by a beautiful reception where lots of joyful dancing took place on a dry floor. If Ross could have climbed under Marti’s veil and attached himself to her hip, I think he would have done it. In spite of the joy I was feeling for their obvious happiness, I felt a sense of sadness for Ross because I think he realized that this change in Marti’s life brings with it a natural shift of priorities. I think he senses that her focus too has now shifted and he misses having her living in the house with us. He enjoys the same sense of security that I get from her and being without her is an adjustment we will both make together.

Although it is apparently not customary for the groom to make a speech, Glenn stood up and addressed the party. He spoke so lovingly about how he and Marti had met through the introduction made by his friend and our mutual Doctor, and myself. He expressed how certain he was this was their true destiny and how he has never felt so sure about anything else he has ever done in his life. He spoke about his desire to have children with Marti because he knew they would be as beautiful and wonderful as her. Is that not the most loving and uplifting acknowledgement anyone could ask for? This brought Marti to tears of joy.

The room looked beautiful. There was a lightness about everything that made absolutely every aspect of this celebration special. Given that our lives are a consequence of the choices we make, I am always surprised how often we forget how easy it is to choose to be nice to each other. There is something about a wedding that makes the world feel like a place where nothing can go wrong. As naive as this may sound, it is so much easier to be kind, and nice and to let our love for each other flow – why do we sometimes choose any other way?

God Bless you Marti and Glenn ~ May all your dreams be realized. You truly bring joy to everyone in your path and may God continue to smile down on you, always.