Saturday, May 13, 2006


I went to the doc last Friday and hooray – my shoulder has healed and I have been free of my sling for a week. I have to do four weeks of physical therapy, three times a week and see the doc one more time after that. I have to wait another month until I can drive.

With Daniel having to rush off to Toronto at such short notice, I went from doing almost nothing for myself for 6 weeks, to having to do it all. It felt like I went from 0 – FULL SPEED in .2 seconds. . I was alone at home with Ross for the weekend. As always though, he was a star about helping me out and he just has a 6th sense when it comes to being resourceful when Dad is not around. He takes care of most of his own needs and assists me as best as he can.

At the beginning of that week my cousin from South Africa visited with his girlfriend, Pat. Roy and I are the youngest in our respective families. He has four older siblings. He is a couple of years older than me and we were, to say the least, practically joined at the hip as kids. We were partners in crime. We did everything together and we bonded a relationship that has sustained itself over all these years. The physical distance between us has not detracted from anything and this reunion after nearly six years was everything I had hoped it would be. Although this was the first time we had met Pat, it felt like we have known her for years.

As the days drew nearer for him to arrive, I started getting really pissed off about the fact that I was still going through my healing process and was restricted in the things I could do. I go through a bit of a number every time I am going to see someone I have not seen for a long time. My MD has brought about so many changes in my appearance and the way I now have to live my life, that I am sometimes nervous about how people might respond in meeting the “new and not so physically improved me”.

It has been a while since I experienced this kind of excitement about a visit. As his arrival drew closer, I found myself calling Ross, ‘Roy’ and it just got silly.

I can’t think of any other way of describing this visit other than to say the time together felt like a soft place to fall. There is something magical about being with someone who loves you, just because … they love you – that’s it! I admired a necklace he has worn for as long as I can remember. It is a silver peace dove with the word ‘shalom’ making up the wings of the bird. When I commented to him about how many years he has worn it for, he instantly reminded me that I had given him the chain it was on and confirmed he has worn it for almost 20 years. He told me how the links on the chain had worn away and when he took it for repair, his son had told him it would be easier to just buy a new chain. He told me how he had said to his son, “Jah, but then it won’t be the chain from Dawn.”

It was 4 days of constant “cherries on top”. Laughing, crying, being uplifted by some memories and getting quite sad about others. The sweetest cherry on top was when he brought out the “Margate Mouse”. In December he had gone to Margate on vacation and while there, saw this little mouse made from shells. He told me how when he saw it he thought of Ross and had to buy it from him. I was just blown away that he had thought of Ross and then taken good enough care of this tiny item for 4 months until he could give it to him in person.

In South African slang we say, “Shweet, cuzzie”. The closest I can come to translating this into Americanese would be “Good one, bro!”