Tuesday, January 05, 2010

SEVEN ...

Perhaps I should have headed this post DIDN’T. I only managed seven of the potential ten RECAP posts I had intended achieving. Driving back home after dropping Ross off at school this morning, I wondered what not achieving this goal says about me. For a brief moment I got philosophical and looked at the bigger picture, and then I narrowed it down to simply, I didn’t do it. I have a tendency to over think things sometimes when it comes to my own actions, or lack of them. What is the message? – what is the lesson? – what’s the underlying thought? – what’s the motivation behind it? … etc., etc., etc. Sometimes I wish I’d just shut up! I said to myself that I was not going to dwell on this point because I can’t change the fact that I did seven instead of ten and that I should rather put time and energy into doing today’s post instead of analyzing that which I can’t change. All this before 9am – no wonder I’m exhausted by noon.

One of the strands of the belief system my mother weaved into me is, NEVER LEAVE FOR TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY. I value this and am always trying to apply it to my day-to-day activities. I am constantly trying to get the most out of my time. From the time I took Ross out of public school just before the end of 2nd grade and put him into a Jewish day school, I started volunteering. This was a very new concept for me. I had only ever exchanged the investment of my time and skills for a pay check. Because I am limited in being able to do hands-on stuff at the school, I took on many administrative type roles that I could do from home. I coordinated other volunteer programs, I arranged school trips, I entered data, I collected funds for gifts for teachers, I coordinated many, many RSVP’s for many events, I counted coupons, I collected receipts, I encouraged other volunteers. This all amounted to the equivalent of a part time administrative work from home situation in exchange for nothing more than the sheer pleasure of doing it. These were all important jobs that had to be done behind the scenes and I was more than happy doing them for close to five and a half years.

As the end of 2009 was approaching, I realized I was not enjoying this very much anymore. I also decided to do everything within my power to make 2010 the year I bring a project together that I have been working on for a couple of years now. I also have a Bar Mitzvah to plan and I would like to find a course of study to become a Life Coach. After exhausting myself mentally from over thinking it and coming to the conclusion that my child would not hate me and I wouldn’t receive a life sentence for being a quitter or deserter if I cut back on my volunteering projects, I completed them and handed them back giving the school reasonable notice with the promise to keep my services available for one extra month should any of my posts not be filled. At one point during this thought process, Ross came to me and said, “Mom, you really need to go on a volunteering diet!” At that point I came to peaceful terms with my decision.

On the day I made the decision to tell the school I was not continuing I came across this link:

ARIESMarch 21-April 19

Conscious Self-Restraint


It's imperative that you cut back your activities, for effective pruning allows new growth to flourish. But you may bump into deeply rooted resistances as you attempt to play a larger role on the stage of life. The contradiction now is that you are at your most brilliant and nothing can hold you back, yet paradoxically the walls of reality continue to close in. You cannot get away with shooting from the hip, even if you're confident of your aim. The full enterprising power of Aries is yours when you accept the limits of society that require more precision this year. Whether you like it or not, you must slow down to get what you want.
Seriously, people – how much more of a clearer sign did I need? These signs tell me that my soul searching is never in vain. The Universe never lets me down and if I am willing to look, it will see that it always provides me with everything I need.

As a firm believer in teaching my children by example, I think I can safely assume that Ross has learned that giving of your time and energy when it is needed gives you so much more than any pay check ever will and that sometimes you have to step up to the plate just because something has to get done. I think our children have a greater chance than we did of being taught that it is vital to find the balance between making a living and making a life.

 
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